What Makes People Fall in Love?

  What are the long-awaited results of Berscheid's early studies and the deluge of those that followed? Well, maybe Freud was right. Romantic love is enigmatic. It is difficult to capture and convert into computerized, controlled bits and bytes of information. Instead, treating it as if it were a virus, scholars are tackling specific questions about love, nailing down a few facets at a time. They have made tremendous progress.
Out of the cascade of studies, six verities emerge about what makes people fall in love. To be a successful Hunter or Huntress of hearts, you must, like Cupid, be a skillful archer, and aim your arrow dead center at the following six targets.

You Never Get a Second Chance at Love at First Sight
You Never Get a Second Chance at Love at First Sight
The first moments you spot your Quarry and he or she gets a glimpse of you can be decisive. Herein lies a ''go/no go" decision. Scientists tell us that love's seeds are often sown during the first few minutes of a relationship.
When two cats meet for the first time, they stop and look at each other. If one hisses, the other bristles his coat and hisses back. However, if the first kitten gives a little nudge with its cold nose, the other kitten responds in kind, and they wind up purring together and licking each other's coats.
A man and a woman getting to know each other are like two little animals sniffing each other out. We don't have tails that wag or hair that bristles, but we do have eyes that narrow or widen. We have hands that flash knuckles or subconsciously soften in the palms-up "I submit" position. There are dozens of other "involuntary" reactions that take place in the first few moments of interaction. The good news is that we can learn to control these presumed involuntary reactions.
The moment you set eyes on each other, your Potential Love Partner subconsciously reads the subtleties of your body language. In these first crucial moments, he or she can unconsciously resolve to try for romantic takeoff or abort thoughts of love. His or her mind then becomes computer-like, and your PLP continues to make rapid decisions about you during your first conversation, your first date.
We will cover techniques to lure Potential Love Partners into approaching you, into liking you, and then into making a first date. I'll share scientifically sound methods of keeping the conversation exciting and making the first date stimulating for your Quarry.

Similar Character, Complementary Needs
I Want a Lover Just Like Dear Old Me (Well, Almost)!
If you pass the first impressions test, you enter the second phase. Here your Quarry starts making judgments about you as a Potential Love Partner. His or her subconscious mind is saying, "I want someone like me. Well, almost like me."
If there is to be compatibility for a lifetime, or even for a date, some similarity is necessary. Our hearts are finely tuned instruments that seek someone who has values similar to ours, who holds beliefs similar to ours, and who looks at the world in more or less the same way we do. Similarity makes us feel good because it confirms the choices we have spent our whole lives making. We also look for people who enjoy the same activities so we can have fun together. Similarity is indeed a launch pad for a good relationship takeoff.
But we get bored with too much similarity. Besides, we need somebody to make up for our lacks. If we have no head for mathematics, who is going to balance the checkbook? If we are sloppy, who is going to pick up our socks?
So we also look for complementary qualities in a long-term love partner. But not any complementary qualities - only the ones we find interesting or that enhance our lives. Hence, we seek someone who is both similar and complementary.
In other part, we will explore methods of planting subliminal seeds of similarity in your Quarry's heart and ways to make him or her know that, even though you two are basically alike, you are different in so many utilitarian, fun, and interesting ways.